A typical conversation with a ‚Wannabee’ pro trader goes like this:
Me: Soooo, what’re you doing?
Wannabee: I’m gambling on forex ????
Hahaha… no.
This statement is apparently innocent and most Wannabees tell it as some sort of a joke, but the truth is – it’s a dangerous one. Do you know why? Because it shapes your actions. Yes, the way you think and talk about yourself shapes your actions.Have you ever talked to a professional trader? If you ask one what does he do on forex, he will tell you:I’m making money.Notice the difference? He is totally aware of the risk and he knows he’s gonna lose some money in the process, but, he still states that he earns money. You will never hear him calling himself a loser.There’s a reason to why professional traders make money on Forex – experience, good trading methodology, good risk management etc, etc. But there’s also one factor that usually slips away unnoticed.
Have you ever talked to a professional trader? If you ask one what does he do on forex, he will tell you:
I’m making money.
Notice the difference? He is totally aware of the risk and he knows he’s gonna lose some money in the process, but, he still states that he earns money. You will never hear him calling himself a loser. There’s a reason to why professional traders make money on Forex – experience, good trading methodology, good risk management etc, etc. But there’s also one factor that usually slips away unnoticed. They know they can make it. For them, being profitable is a habit. And why do most of the Wannabees lose money? Because they nurture the habit of losing.
So, how is this habit formed in the first place?Everyone knows that trading comes with a risk of losing money and at the beginning, you’re going to lose them more frequently. Well, basically, at the start you lose all the time. It’s not funny – it’s frustrating because you work hard and don’t get the results you wish. So what can you do to ease the pressure and feeling bad after a loss? People usually tend to laugh it off. It’s OK – it really helps. Some go even further and call themselves losers (still joking) or talk about themselves as losers on a daily basis (still joking). But now this approach starts to be dangerous for you. Why? Because you may want to justify every failure on the market by simply saying "hey, told ya I’m just a loser" and laughing it off. The more you do it, the more you’re likely to repeat it every time automatically – so it becomes a habit. There’s not only your reaction that turns into it, the same goes to the very event of losing money.
The first danger of this approach is pretty basic – if you take too much pressure off, you won’t be able to analyse your failures (be it trading, or getting the attention of girls or whatever you may think of) and learn from them. Hence, you won’t be able to go from phase „Wannabee” to phase „Apprentice”. If you think of yourself as a loser, then losing trade (or being rejected) becomes a standard – something that is meant to occur – so you don’t feel like learning from it and you won’t be willing to take steps to prevent it from happen. You even wait for it to happen!When you talk about yourself:
I’m a losing trader.
I gamble on Forex.
Girls don’t like me.
I’m ugly.
Even if you don’t really mean it, your subconscious mind doesn’t really care about what you think – the fact that you repeat it matters. And at some point, your subconscious you will say „oh OK, I’ve been repeating it so many times it MUST BE TRUE”. So you just embrace it (even if you don’t really want to) and start behaving accordingly. You may not even notice it.This type of behaviour is frequently called "self-sabotage". It comes in various forms and has various backgrounds, but it’s generally you preventing yourself from being better and achieving greatness. If you consider yourself totally unattractive to opposite sex, then during the conversation, you will most probably behave like another person already disliked you (even if he/she thinks you’re awesome) and you may misread the signs he/she gives you. I’ve seen guys refusing girl’s attention just because they thought they were made fun of (while the girls would really want to flirt with them)!
It’s a „Fake it until you make it” at its worst! Don’t do it, just don’t.
How do I get rid of this nasty habit, then?
Ok, but what to do, when you’ve already labelled yourself as a loser? The first step is pretty obvious – you have to acknowledge it. You have to sit back, relax and ask yourself „am I really a loser, or I just talked it into me?” If you know your enemy, you can prepare some tactics for upcoming battles.You cannot really get rid of a habit once you’ve formed it. I bet people who tried to quit smoking can relate, right? If you make a new habit, it’s there. Period. If you try to eliminate it, what you get is a void. An empty room within you where should be something. If you leave it like this, soon the craving for ‚Something’ will become so strong that you will fill it with ‚Anything’ just to stop it. Most probably, you will retrace back to an old habit. So what should we do with some baddies that we want to get rid of, but as it turns out we can’t? We change them into good habits. Yes, you need to find another good habit to replace the old one. In the case of trading, the best option, in my opinion, is the habit of winning. I bet you agree. I don’t want to bore you with more epic chatter about changing yourself, so here are several tips on how to stop being a losing trader:
Tip number one: stop calling yourself a loser! You know the pattern of creating a habit of losing, now reverse it! Start calling yourself a winner, a good trader – fake it until you make it again. This time the good way.
Tip no 2: look at pro traders (you want to be one of them, right?). Talk with some of them if you can. Ask about their day schedule, their mental approach, anything that you think may help you. Talk and listen carefully. And then design your day to be a pro trader’s day. Do the same with your trading method. With everything.
Tip no 3: admit failures do happen and sometimes you lose money. Yes, it’s not nice, but that’s why you have a risk management system (do you?). It’ll be stressful a little (not so much if you manage your risk), but it’s the part of the process and you know it.
Tip no 4: learn from your mistakes. I don’t lose money on forex, I gain knowledge. You, too, should start perceiving it this way. There’s a simple chain of events: do something – analyse the outcome – make a conclusion – adjust accordingly – repeat. Be a scientist – research your own failures.
Tip no 5: be aware of what you say and think about yourself nex time ????
